Help me understand…

Hi, Guys.

Can you help me understand school and frogs?

Every Saturday morning, we get up early. Mom feeds Dudley and me while Daddio makes coffee. Then Mom and Daddio sit on the couch, drink their coffee, and discuss the world. They seem to have an answer for everything going on in the world, but they can’t help me understand why I must attend school.

When we arrive at school, Mom walks me to the little room where the teacher is waiting. There are three other humans with their doggies in my class. I want to be friends with Ozzy so badly. When we see each other, we both wag our tails and strain against our tethers to sniff noses. But the teacher says we aren’t allowed to play. Oh, you should see little Ozzy. He’s the same size as me but with so much soft fluff. He even has a mustache. Can you imagine? And his pompom tail waves through the air so beautifully while my piggy tail, that’s what Mom calls it, wiggles its cute wag that moves into my whole hindquarters and pretty soon my while bum is wagging. But we never get to play. It’s not fair. When Mom said I would be attending school, I thought recess would be included in my learning package. It’s not, and I am beyond disappointed.

Anyway, I now know how to focus, but I refuse to do it most of the time. If I’m not allowed to play, then I will not focus. The whole target thing is ridiculous. If Mom has food in her hand, I will gladly touch my nose to that hand without having to be asked. Geez. Humans can be so thick. I can also sit and wait, but sometimes I get so excited about the impending treat that I sit and forget to wait. And do you know that Mom makes me go back to where she asked me to wait to try again before she will give me a treat? Imagine.

And what’s the purpose to all this sitting and waiting? What exactly am I waiting for? My food? A treat? It makes no sense to me. I always get food when I wait, but why can’t we skip the waiting part and go straight for the food. Mom has tried to explain that learning to wait is important so that I won’t leap from the car as soon as she opens the door. She says waiting helps keep me safe. Well, I don’t buy it. I can’t think of any reason for this training, none at all. Can someone help me understand? 

Also, I have another question. Frogs. What are these foul creatures? They are slimy and smell like dirt. I picked one up with my teeth the other night. Don’t worry; I was very gentle. It peed on my tongue. Who does that? Gross. I spit it out. Mom laughed. But I got revenge. I picked another one up, much gentler this time so I wouldn’t squeeze any pee out of it again and put it in the kitchen. She almost stepped on it and squealed. I giggled on the inside. I was disappointed when she bent over and scooped it up with her hands to put it back out in the grass. She wasn’t scared at all. I don’t think it even peed on her, which isn’t fair.

If any of you has answers to my questions, I’d sure be happy for your help. I’m just a puppy trying to make sense of my world.